TRAPPED: BREAKING FREE - BOOK 1 Read online

  Dan throws his grey ‘Hollister’ t-shirt at me. It smacks me in the face before I have a chance to make a grab for it.

  It’s easier to just get up and do as he says, if I so much as make a huff of frustration he will be on me.

  I just want him gone, the misery he causes is too much sometimes, so I hurry and do as he says.

  Twenty minutes later Dan is dressed and ready to go, and the kids are playing in their bedrooms until he leaves.

  He is grabbing his wallet when he turns, looks me up and down and sneers my way.

  “I don’t know what time I will be back and I can’t be bothered to carry my key, so make sure you wake up and answer the door. I don’t want to be standing on the door step all night.”

  He doesn’t even ask, he just tells me! How is that fair that he will probably wake up the whole house, It’s not hard to fit one tiny key in his jeans pocket.

  “Can I leave the key in the letter box please babe? That way you won’t wake up the kids and you can get straight in.” I am practically begging him, I barely sleep as it is, I don’t want to be rushing to open the door for him and settling the kids again after he wakes them up.

  I don’t get a chance to blink before Dan has his hands wrapped around my neck, he is squeezing so tightly I cannot get any air down in to my lungs.

  A burning sensation is creeping it’s way up my chest.

  I start struggling, noticing Dan’s eyes are dancing in delight. He likes me fighting and it actually turns him on.

  I grab his hands with both of mine and try to pry his fingers off, my lungs are screaming in protest at his assault.

  One hand comes away, and he forces my already bruised head back, smacking it against the door , hard enough to make me see stars, before he places it back at my neck again.

  I use one of my hands to dig my nails into one of his, whilst I grab the bump at the back of my head with the other.

  My senses are on overload, the lack of oxygen and pain that has settled from my head to my toes overwhelmes me and I feel close to passing out.

  He removes one hand from my neck again, this relieves the pressure slightly and I can drag small amounts of oxygen down. His other hand slowly makes its way down to the front of my trousers. His fingers skim the top of my knickers and I stop moving.

  I’m frozen in fear, praying the lack of fight will turn Dan off and he will leave.

  The room is starting to sway slightly, a mixture of the lack of oxygen and the panic over his intended assault, forcing my body to shut down.

  His fingers carry on moving downwards, the hand around my neck tightens ever so slightly, stopping my oxygen supply again. He wants me to fight him, but there is not a hope in hell of me giving him that satisfaction now that I have cottoned on to his ‘game’.

  Just as Dans fingers are about to breach my entrance his phone rings. He looks me straight in the eyes and raises one way eye brow slightly, an evil smirk pasted across his face. “This isn’t over Connie, it’s been a while since we had fun like that, I think it’s far from over due, don’t you babe?”

  He rips his hand out from my trousers quickly, making a move as if he is going to slap me before opening his palm and placing three condescending taps on my cheek instead.

  He laughs, places a kiss on my lips and grabs his phone, walking out of the front door and slamming it shut behind him.

  I sag to the floor in relief.

  He has never done that with the kids being awake, how far would he have gone with the possibility that they could have witnessed it?

  I shiver at how close I came to being assaulted in that way again.

  I’m spiralling out of control, I don’t know where to go or what to do, so many thoughts and intended outcomes flying around in my head.

  The worst being how close my babies were to seeing the monster they call Daddy in action.

  I close my eyes and count to ten, desperately trying to reign in the panic in my chest, I cannot let the kids see me like this.

  My throat is throbbing and my heart is pounding against my ribs.

  I walk up the stairs to the bathroom, needing a few minutes to calm down before I face them. I start to run their bath and look into the mirror above the sink.

  A harsh breath of air escapes my lungs as I take in the state of my neck.

  There are red and black finger marks wrapped around it from either side, nasty angry bruises that I pray will have disappeared by the morning.

  He really did do a number on me. How will I ever cover that up?

  A nasty ache has settled at the back of my head. I place my fingers over the tender area and wince from the stinging pain that touching it causes.

  I’m not sure how much more my body can take before it decides enough is enough. Something needs to give, I cannot raise my children like this.

  I grab my dressing gown and put it on, wrapping it around myself as tight as it goes and slip the hood over my head, all the while hoping this is enough to stop my babies from picking up on the bruising.

  The rest of the evening passes by in a blur of baths, cuddles and a few giggles thrown in between. Dan doesn’t return home, and for that I am eternally grateful.

  I couldn’t care less who he is with or what he is doing, I only care he is away from me and the kiddies.

  The week rushes by relatively quickly, and before I know it, Friday has arrived.

  Dan hasn’t returned home from work all week until well after the kids have already gone to bed, giving us a slight reprieve from his reign of terror.

  I make the assumption that this is why the days just passed, they didn’t drag like they usually do when he is around.

  I look at the time and am quite relieved to see my mum will be here to pick Alex and Lily up in the next half an hour, at four pm.

  They love their time spent at Grandma and Grandads, they get spoilt rotten and can make as much noise when and where they want to without being reprimanded.

  I look to the floor in the hall and spot the kids bags. Trying to recall if they have everything they will need.

  My Mum has most things there for them, but they still like to take their special comfort teddies to help them sleep.

  A knock on the door startles me.

  I know it can’t be Dan, as he has a key and my Mum isn’t due yet.

  I frown at it before throwing it open. I cannot give myself a chance to talk myself in to hiding and peeping through the curtains like a paranoid freak.

  Lottie is standing on my doorstep, a knowing smirk on her face. “Well bitch, are you gonna say hello, or just stand there and stare at me open mouthed?” she says, followed by a giggle.

  Oh no, she can’t be here. Crap, crap, crap.

  “Lottie babe, I told you to meet me at Rhia’s house. If Dan gets home early and catches you here he will flip his shit. I need to get the kids ready to go to my Mums and pretend I am meeting them there after doing some housework. Get out of here, please!” My voice is so high pitched and squeaky, the desperation is pouring out of me, I’m virtually on the edge of an anxiety attack.

  I don’t need this, I am a bag of nerves as it is.

  I don’t know what Lottie is playing at, she is the only person who knows what Dan does to me. She’s also the only person who wants to kill him but is completely behind me and just there for me in general.

  “Oh sweetheart chill. The M25 is blocked, an accident North bound at junction 23, you have plenty of time. I checked before showing up.” I go to reply, but Lottie being Lottie, an utter chatterbox starts up again “Oh, I need your make up, a pair of flats, jewellery and a few bags to go with your choice of outfits already at Rhia’s. You will never get out the door if Dan sees you carrying all of that.”

  Lottie’s right, I know she is. Despite that fact, I cannot get my legs to move, the crushing fear that Dan will see her here has rendered me immobile.

  “Connie move. You want me gone, and I don’t particurlarly fancy bumping in to that tosser as it is. Turn aroun
d, grab your things and hand them over. I’m gone the second you have done it.” Lottie spins me around and gives me a gentle shove towards the stairs.

  I snap myself out of it, and attempt to do as she says.

  Like the ditzy prat that I am, I somehow fall, missing the bottom step and landing on my elbow and chin.

  “Motherfucker,” I hiss, praying there is no carpet burn on my face.

  “Hahaha, watch that step Connie, it hurts like a bitch when you miss it.” I glare at my best friend, who as of this second I am mentally cursing to hell and back before attempting to run back up the stairs.

  I can hear Lottie’s giggles in every room I go in, it feels like they are following and mocking me.

  I continue to rush around like I have the hounds of hell at my heels, grabbing anything and everything I may need.

  “Take, and get before Dan sees you!” I force the bags at Lottie, her arms come up to catch them before they fall to the floor.

  She looks up at me and breaks out in to a huge cheesy grin, laughs lightly and shakes her head at me.

  Lottie is a stunner, men drop to her feet and worship her everywhere we go.

  Her long brown locks, big chocolate brown eyes, blowjob lips, double D boobs, pert bum and cute height of 5 foot 4 make her irresistable to most men.

  She is completely unaware of her looks and the power she wields over the opposite sex though. The best part is, she is one hundred per cent loyal, and will always have your back.

  “You cow. You wait for us to hit that dance floor. I’m pushing you in front of the freakiest looking dude out there and gonna watch him grind all over you for that.” She says this, but we both know if some freaky man came within six foot of me, Lottie would be all over him, swiftly ejecting him from my presence.

  “You know you love me, now go. Quick! You’re making me seriously anxious.” I sound like a bitch, but I cannot have her here when Dan could show up any second.

  Lottie knows the drill and does not bat an eyelid at my harsh demands.

  I watch her pull away, before turning back to the house to pick up the kids bags, I call them down from their bedrooms, hoping they don’t mention to Dan that Lottie was here and watch my Mum pull up outside.

  I say my goodbyes, feeling slightly teary with a lump in my throat and hug my babies as tight as possible.

  I tell them how much I love them and I will pop in and see them at Grandmas over the weekend. My friends think I am mad, that I should let my parents deal with them for a few days and have a break.

  When in reality, I love them more than life itself, why would I want to be without my reason for waking up the in the morning and continuing to exist?

  I give my Mum a kiss and thank her. I place the bags in the boot and tell her I will be over to see the kids at some point.

  She doesn’t even blink at this, she is so used to me not being able to settle without them.

  They of course, are both fine at my Mums without me, but I get anxious when I spend too much time away from them.

  Once the kids have gone, I make the quick decision to text Dan and pretend I have left with my Mum for the night. That way I don’t have to see him and he can’t pick up on shiftiness.

  The message is pretty straight forward, informing him I have left already and will see him tomorrow. If I start babbling he will know something is up and hound me until he gets to the bottom of it.

  A reply comes through almost immediately.

  ‘I am stuck in a tailback, 15 miles of standstill traffic, and you think I care about you going to your mothers house. I’m out tonight so don’t come home too early, I don’t want you waking me up.’

  I roll my eyes at the twat. At least I have a few moments to get the house together before I go.

  I rush around getting everything sorted. After a quick tidy up and letting Daisy out to do her business, I make my way to Rhia’s house. The butterflies are swarming in my stomach, I can’t believe I have done it, I have managed to escape the house and fool Dan into thinking I am at my Mum’s.

  I only hope it stays this way, and he doesn’t cotton on that I have lied.

  I realise I’m a few hours early to arrive at Rhia’s, but I would rather avoid Dan as much as is possible, the less I see him the less chance he has to pick apart my story.

  CHAPTER FIVE

  Rhia opens the door, the biggest smile I have ever seen her wear breaks out across her face.

  She grabs me and pulls me in for a hug.

  The height difference is hialrious, I have to bend down for her to be able to reach my shoulders.

  “Oh my god Connie, I can’t believe you actually came. We thought for sure Dan would stop you.. squeee I am so excited, tonight is going to be amazing.”

  Lovely, thanks for the vote in confidence and obviously discussing me behind my back.

  I can’t really blame them for thinking like it though, this is the first time I have ever managed to get out. Any plans I dared to make in the past were cancelled with ridiculous excuses.

  “You can’t possibly be more excited than me,” I pull back, looking down in to her kind light blue eyes, “I want to be a rebel for once. Get drunk, dance, and have drunken greasy food at the end of the night.”

  I inwardly roll my eyes at myself, how pathetic do I sound? Is it blatantly obvious I don’t get out?

  “Ha, of course. Get your butt in the kitchen and pour yourself a glass of wine, you can chill whilst I tidy up the kid’s mess from earlier.” Rhia tells me, pointing in the direction of the kitchen.

  “Erm, it’s a bit early, surely? And I don’t want to be in the way, I thought I could help you do whatever needs doing.” I tell her.

  I don’t want to be a burden, I am seriously early and feel bad for turning up like this.

  “Oh hush, I told you to arrive by eight not at eight. Diane will be here soon and so will Lottie, and trust me, while I can’t speak for Lottie, I know for a fact Diane will be breaking out the shots as soon as she arrives. So I’ll go get the wine while there still is any in the bottle to drink. Red, white or blush?”

  I flop on to the sofa giggling away, I’ll take my chance and wait for a while with regards to the alcohol.

  Rhia is completely serious though. Diane will guzzle that bottle and crack out the shots before any of us have the oppurtunity to blink.

  Rhia rolls her eyes and brings me a glass of wine, a very full glass of wine I might add.

  I sip it, knowing if I’m not careful I will be legless before we even head out. I am the biggest light weight when it comes to wine.

  I pick up my mobile, needing to text Lottie to get her to hurry her arse up. I could do with her presence to settle my nerves.

  Dan’s name jumps on to my screen, followed by his ring tone as I open the messaging icon.

  I leave it to ring for a few moments, worrying he has somehow found out that I’m not where I told him I would be.

  Ignoring the ringing prompts Rhia to look over at me from the pile of toys she is sorting and raise her eyebrow in question. I shake my head and place my index finger to my lips, asking her to be quiet.

  She nods, smiling at me in sympathy and I hurriedly connect the call before I can chicken out.

  “Hey babe, you okay?” My voice is shaky from nerves, my stomach has bottomed out and I need to pace, I can’t sit still. I suddenly feel claustrophobic in this house.

  “When did you go to your Mother’s?” Oh god, he knows. I’ve been caught already. “I told you the other day to iron my light blue jeans and white shirt so I could get dressed and be ready to go straight out. And What do I find? Oh yeah, fuck all!” He roars down the phone, causing me to wince and pull it from my ear slightly.

  Oh no, how could I forget that? How could I be so stupid? I placed it to the back of my mind and let it slip. Shit, shit, shit. I’m such a mug.

  “Oh babe, I am so sorry. I was in such a rush to get all of your football kit washed for the weekend and completely forgot about your ironing. Co
uld you possibly wear your dark jeans and a different shirt? I’m so sorry babe, I didn’t mean to, I’m so ditzy sometimes, I don’t know what to s...”

  Dan cuts me off, “FOR FUCK SAKE, just shut up already. I got it, you’re sorry and a dumb fucking bitch who can’t even do one little thing her man asks of her! Imagine if I didn’t do one little thing you asked me to, like a food shop for example. Imagine the fall out from that! I’m going, but the next time you fuck up to this extent you can find some other way to feed the kids.” The line goes dead, and I pull my phone away from my ear, my heart threatening to beat out of my chest in shock. I can’t help but gawp at the device.

  I can’t quite believe he would go so far as to starve his children over a forgotten bit of ironing. Oh who am I kidding, of course he would, he’s a spoilt brat.

  I look over at Rhia, who is just staring at my phone with her mouth opening and closing resembling a goldfish, “Did he really just threaten to starve your children, what the hell was all of that about?”

  Great, Rhia heard all of that. “It’s not as bad as it sounds, he is probably pissed off from the traffic and taking it out on me. He would never starve the kiddies. Can you do me a huge favor though and not tell Diane about this, you know she won’t let it drop and will make the situation worse for me.”

  The room is spinning slightly and the sweat is dripping down my back. The stress of that call and Rhia overhearing is too much, I fall to the floor and bury my head in my hands, tears streaming down my face.

  I hear Rhia rather than see her approaching.

  She sits next to me and pulls me in for a hug. “I promise, this stays between us, but Connie that is just wrong on so many levels, you need to leave him. Please know I’m here if you need to talk, whatever you say will stay between us.” She whispers in my ear, speaking slowly as if calming a wild animal.

  I lift my head and wipe the tears from my face, feeling like a fool for allowing Dan to break me for those few seconds.

  “I’m fine, I just got slightly overwhelmed. Is there any chance I could take a quick shower and de-stress before our big night out.”